My God is the God Who Provides

I'm amazed. purely and beautifully amazed at the Lords love for his people. we had this crazy discussion after our worship service here about God's love which then led to a little predestination chat...talk about blow your mind. we ended up talking in circles which was pretty funny. i imagine God found it humorous as well, us humans trying to wrap our mind around his perfect and sovereign plan for us.

moving on.

so i've been so blessed here at camp. i've been given an opportunity to stay on staff until the end of camping season because of some changes here. so figured out a feasible schedule and how much money i would need to make to make it beneficial to me and that's what i asked for......and i was offered more!! how awesome...

next. last week, i get this frantic text from my friend to call her. so i did. and it was about school. my state offers high school seniors two free years at the community college as long as they maintain a certain gpa and all that...so i did that last year and applied again this year. well my friend told me that she found out they were having problems with the scholarships and there was a possibility that i wasn't going to get it. uh oh. i freaked out. i didn't have the money to pay for the tuition that was due in a week! i never saved money for school because i never needed to. at some point during my worry-fest, i felt a nudge to calm down and pray. and i did. i prayed that the Lord would provide the finances in some form to get me through this year. so i called up to school and asked about it. i felt such a peace and after 10 minutes of sitting on hold, the financial aid counselor told me the money was there for me!!! PRAISE JESUS!!!! :)

fast forward to today. i still had to pay my registration fee so i was going to go up on my awkward mid day break. once again, i felt a nudge to call school. my original intent was to ask if i could pay at a closer campus. well the very nice lady on the phone told me that i could pay over the phone...yay! saved me a two hour trip and annoying lines. on a whim (since you don't get very many nice AND knowledgeable people when you call my school) i asked if she knew when book lists were available...at that point she told me that i had a second scholarship that would end up covering book costs!! so totally God!

big picture of the summer/life. last winter/spring, i would get kinda anti-social, thinking that my house was a very nice place to be.....all the time. i didn't care to go out and hang out with people because i never felt like i belonged anywhere. this summer, God has provided me with the most amazing people to surround me and bring me out of this thought. i have finally found a place where i feel built up and encouraged and i feel like i belong. i have also learned how to decipher real friends from not real ones. jenn has been my main source of encouragement and we have so much fun together - real friend. some people here only remember you when your right in front of their face - not real friends.

coming back full circle. i have totally felt Gods love for me, his chosen daughter. in the smallest ways in the past week, He has provided for me fully. He has shown me how to fully rely on him, and that, when i do, the results are mind blowing. i am so thankful for the love He has for me. and he will provide in the future as well. i need to continue relying and counting on him to give me what i need.

this is my prayer in the desert

when all thats within me feels dry

and this is my prayer in the hunger in me

my God is the God who provides

i will bring praise

i will bring praise

no weapon formed against me shall remain

i will rejoice

i will declair

God is my victory and he is here

and this is my prayer in the harvest

when favor and providence flow

i know i'm filled to be emptied again

the seed i've received i will sow

In Your Eyes

My sister and I are singing at my great-aunts church next sunday. It's going to be my first time playing guitar and singing at the same time, which makes me so nervous. We're singing a song called In Your Eyes by Jim Booth, a man who went to our church and passed away a few years ago. As I sat in my cabin at camp slaving over this song, nearly driving myself to tears, I realised I was going about this the completely wrong way.

The song talks about asking God to give you certain things so that you might be accepted in His eyes. I was practicing so hard and getting myself so frustrated in trying to make the song perfect so that people wouldn't think that I sucked or anything. I was praying that God would touch my hands so that I could impress the congregation and impress my family and everyone else. Then the words hit me. I saw that I shouldn't be asking God to help me impress everyone else, but I should be asking Him to give me the ability so that I can turn it back and give the glory to him. That's what I want to do. Give the Glory to Him.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (that verse got me a free parasailing ride :)

So if it sounds like crap, I really don't care. My heart is in the right place now, and no matter what it sounds like, I know that it will sound flawless and be a beautiful sound to the Lord.